Starting out

I am calling this my embarrassing weight loss blog so no one can read it and say I didn't warn you. I may get pissy or self-hating or any number of things. I am going to be much crankier than in my other blog and in all likelihood I will swear more. I will definitely over-share, starting now:

My weight is 207.
My height is a shade under 5'5'
I'm somewhere around an 18 or a 20 in US sizing--in women's sizing that can be a 1x or 2x.
It used to be that most of my weight was in my thighs. Now it's kind of focused on my thighs but also evenly distributed elsewhere.
My face mostly doesn't give my weight away.
I should lose about 67 pounds, since 140 was a good weight for me, but I'll settle for 145-150.
I figure I have something like a year to take it off, since I want to try to get pregnant again around this time next year.

I started out my last pregnancy at 193, counting from the peestick, but I think I'd already gained three pounds. During the nausea of the first 4 1/2 months, I lost around 10 pounds. By the end of my pregnancy, I was 213. I didn't like being over 200 then and I don't like it now. After my pregnancy I hit 188 by the eight-week mark, which alarmed my midwife, but I'm not sure it should have. I was eating incredibly well then. I don't eat so well now. More on that later.

Exercise: I walk my daughter four blocks to school and back, twice a day, five days a week. It doesn't sound like much, but two four-block round-trips makes sixteen blocks a day, and two of them are uphill pushing a stroller. When I get into slumps of driving instead of walking (in bad weather, say, or especially flairy flare-ups of depression) then I understand how much I need those sixteen blocks.

I also carry my daughter a lot, mostly on my left hip. Right now she weighs 28 pounds. She is my weight training.

Eating. I have never been a calorie counter. I don't think that's wise, given my tendency to obsess over details and miss the larger picture. But I kept my high school weight until well into graduate school and I have been better about avoiding empty calories, usually by literally steering clear of them. The one change I hope this blog will do is keep me from eating sugar and white flour.

Here's today, which was somewhat worse than usual:

Builder's bar for breakfast with low-fat milk
Bagel and cream cheese mid-day
Seltzer--didn't finish
Chocolate croissant
Lemonade with a few cookies
Big glass of water
two squares of Maya Gold (about 1/3 ozs.)
Whole-wheat challah with soft cheese
a few chips and salsa
Sundrops w/peanuts
Big glass of water
Salad and homemade pizza

See, there's plenty of room for eliminating crap.