Showing posts with label Talk about embarrassing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Talk about embarrassing. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

6/27/07 11:30 pm

Why do I persist in trying to go online during thunderstorms? This time I typed the post in word and pasted—hope the formatting doesn’t get funky.

I know, I know, classic hubris: I was just being so pleased with how this blog was getting maybe 5 hits a day, and then the main blog got a very nice uptick in hits because of Jenny’s link (I’m so glad you noticed the feral ponies in that post! Their ancestors were originally circus ponies and they were released on Rodgers’ Mountain in the 30’s. The same state park is famed for its azaleas, but you have to go much further along to encounter the ponies. Ilsa was out of her mind when we met them, but I was determined not to carry the carrots I’d brought for them one more day, so I made her tough it out).

One of those people just didn’t play by the rules. Jenny, I hope it wasn’t someone you know—understand, I only know what s/he did via my statcounter, and s/he may be so blog-naive as to think s/he was invisible clicking around, but it made me realize I need to go to a password.

Leah and Phantom, you both gave me suggestions—vox and wordpress, which allow feeds on private blogs. It looks like wordpress (like blogger) will let anyone with one of their accounts read a private blog, which means that they’re NOT private at all are they? Am I right about this?

I tried to sign up for vox—I mean, I did sign up, but didn’t get much past that. This computer is too ancient (at less than five years old) and way too many links were non-functional in the version of Safari that I’m using. I’ll have to download Firefox, which I’ve had trouble doing in the past and definitely can’t do during a thunderstorm. Or I may need to find a host site that’s not geared so exclusively to people with the wherewithal to keep up with all the latest toys. It may not happen before I go, but I’ll be switching this blog to somewhere else soon—don’t worry, Leah, I’m not planning on jumping ship altogether—Rhymes with J. will stay on blogspot for the foreseeable future, anyway.

So, today’s food:

builder’s bar
milk
iced tea
co-op sandwich: festival of soy (vegetarian hoagie)
limeade drunk from Z.’s teaset
water
seltzer
black raspberries
potato salad (includes green beans and cannelini)
fresh mozzarella
the first good tomato of the season
more black raspberries
strawberries
seltzer

Uncle Donor came over and we went to a free concert in a park not too far from here. I think it’s the first time that he and I have gone out in public with Z.—we were each holding one of her hands while we walked from the car to the concert—and there is no doubt that every feature she has that doesn’t look like me can be explained by a quick glance at him. Maybe not her ears. But really, everything else.

Exercise—last night I actually got a little walking in on the way to and from the party, which was three blocks from our house, so six blocks total. Today we maybe walked a comparable amount from the car to the free concert. But this is not enough and I need to get my schedule organized but it has so far been really really hard to have anything like a predictable day with A. and Z. Last week A. didn’t get out of school til Thursday, squeezed in a hair cut that meant I had to take Z. mid-day, and then she left for the Berkshires late Friday morning.

This week has been better, I guess, but there have still dinner and lunchtime commitments and A. handed Z. off to me in the middle of the day today, and we’re leaving town on Friday, which is the day after TOMORROW and the laundry is in disarray—there is a machine there, but it’s embarrassing to show up at one’s mother’s house with dirty laundry. It’s so freshman year, you know? At least once we’re there there will be a pool in Maryland and everything we’ve planned for the rest of the week involves plenty of walking.

But that doesn’t solve the problem of exercise here. I’ll only move my body if it’s part of a routine, built into the rhythm of my day. I’ve only gone to our pool once since it opened a month ago. I need to do better than that.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

What I might be or might not be doing here

This morning's post was not exactly what I expected to be putting in the annex, but it was good for me and had been brewing for awhile. I was thinking that something on the topic would show up on the main blog but it never did, and I'm guessing that it came out here, and I got such a useful response from Jenny (useful in that it pushed my thinking forward) because it was here and not there. The rules I'm setting out for myself are different here, which are to type posts pretty much as I type comments on other people's blogs, without a lot of preplanning or drafting or self-censorship--which I gave myself permission to do by putting the word embarrassing up there on the title page. I might embarrass myself or you, or not, but we all have fair warning. I'm not worrying about attracting links or commenters or being a good blog citizen, all of which I do think about on the main page.

But with that post, suddenly, this space isn't just for accountability anymore. It's also a thinking-out-loud space, and a feedback space. And I like that a lot. So I'm about to lay down some rules for you, too, if you're going to listen in on me. Right now I know most people who read this blog. And I'd like to know everyone. Consider it the difference between meeting me for coffee and a pastry at a busy cafe, and curling up with a cup of tea and dessert in my living room after dinner. In one place you don't mind being overheard. In the other, you do. If you feel comfortable commenting on R. with J., if you know me in real life, if I've commented on your blog a few times, if we are, in short, friends, then I'm really happy that you found your way here. If none of that is true of you, I'd prefer you didn't lurk. Join the conversation on the main blog, which is where I'm putting in more work and more sparkle, anyway, or if you're a shy type you can get in touch with me via email (you'll find it in the "how we do things 'round here" links on the main page) and when we know each other a little better I'll welcome you back.

I'm going to try this on the honor system for awhile and see if it works.

And don't think this morning was all that much of a change. I'm still going to be telling you what I ate most of the time.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

I can't proofread in draft

This is true no matter what--I need to have hard copy in front of me to catch everything. In my main blog I often go back several times to catch typos and editing problems.

That is not what this blog is about, however. It you want smooth copy, you probably shouldn't be reading a diet blog.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Starting out

I am calling this my embarrassing weight loss blog so no one can read it and say I didn't warn you. I may get pissy or self-hating or any number of things. I am going to be much crankier than in my other blog and in all likelihood I will swear more. I will definitely over-share, starting now:

My weight is 207.
My height is a shade under 5'5'
I'm somewhere around an 18 or a 20 in US sizing--in women's sizing that can be a 1x or 2x.
It used to be that most of my weight was in my thighs. Now it's kind of focused on my thighs but also evenly distributed elsewhere.
My face mostly doesn't give my weight away.
I should lose about 67 pounds, since 140 was a good weight for me, but I'll settle for 145-150.
I figure I have something like a year to take it off, since I want to try to get pregnant again around this time next year.

I started out my last pregnancy at 193, counting from the peestick, but I think I'd already gained three pounds. During the nausea of the first 4 1/2 months, I lost around 10 pounds. By the end of my pregnancy, I was 213. I didn't like being over 200 then and I don't like it now. After my pregnancy I hit 188 by the eight-week mark, which alarmed my midwife, but I'm not sure it should have. I was eating incredibly well then. I don't eat so well now. More on that later.

Exercise: I walk my daughter four blocks to school and back, twice a day, five days a week. It doesn't sound like much, but two four-block round-trips makes sixteen blocks a day, and two of them are uphill pushing a stroller. When I get into slumps of driving instead of walking (in bad weather, say, or especially flairy flare-ups of depression) then I understand how much I need those sixteen blocks.

I also carry my daughter a lot, mostly on my left hip. Right now she weighs 28 pounds. She is my weight training.

Eating. I have never been a calorie counter. I don't think that's wise, given my tendency to obsess over details and miss the larger picture. But I kept my high school weight until well into graduate school and I have been better about avoiding empty calories, usually by literally steering clear of them. The one change I hope this blog will do is keep me from eating sugar and white flour.

Here's today, which was somewhat worse than usual:

Builder's bar for breakfast with low-fat milk
Bagel and cream cheese mid-day
Seltzer--didn't finish
Chocolate croissant
Lemonade with a few cookies
Big glass of water
two squares of Maya Gold (about 1/3 ozs.)
Whole-wheat challah with soft cheese
a few chips and salsa
Sundrops w/peanuts
Big glass of water
Salad and homemade pizza

See, there's plenty of room for eliminating crap.